Determine That You Have the Want To!

After being in business for so many years, it has always struck me how people would like to do certain things. They even appear to have a passion and love for the event or task. Unfortunately, sometimes having these things is not enough. We get into the “head game” of knowing, for sure, that we would be great at something until it gets down to the want to.  I’m not talking about a “need to” but rather the inner voice and action that drives you to absolutely want to accomplish this or that.

I have, for example, had people tell me that they would like to become a manager. I know exactly where they are going with this and I can see it in their eyes whether they have a want to or they “need to.” Why would someone need to be a manager? Easy, more money, power, flexibility, benefits, development, etc. So, why don’t these people have the want to? Simply put, it is because they lack the critical qualities of motivation, focus, determination, effort and, probably most importantly, it does not fit into their “life purpose.”

Motivation, focus, determination and effort are all very recognizable terms in respect to the building blocks of success.  The last point, life purpose, is probably a bit head scratching for some people but is the most important of all these descriptors.  Why do we do the things we do and what keeps us going to accomplish everything that needs to be done?  As in many activities, there needs to be a foundation.  To determine if you will excel in an activity, you have to see how it fits into your life purpose.  If it doesn’t fit, there is very little likelihood, even with all the other factors in play, that success will be achieved.

Again, life purpose is the foundation of what we do.  Unfortunately, most people do not know, nor are they seeking, their purpose.  At this point, we need to find our life purpose and determine what we will do with the rest of our life. Or, do we first determine what is important in our life and then determine from there where we want to take our purpose.  For example, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a doctor.  I knew this was going to be my life purpose, but I lacked the focus and determination to achieve that result.  Aspects of being a doctor captured me and helped me to this day in my pursuit of my life passion.  In other words, I couldn’t be a medical doctor, but I deeply care about coaching and counseling people toward success in their own life.  This was the aspect that I saw in my father, who was a doctor, and now I have followed in those footsteps.

When you start thinking about your life purpose, think about:

  1. What is important to you?
  2. What you dreamt about growing up?
  3. Where you are now? 

These three questions are the starting points of determining life purpose.  Remember, although right now you may not see what your life purpose may be, you are living it. 

Once you have a foundation (life purpose) and you wake up with the drive, motivation, focus and determination, nothing can stop you.  Once you have these qualities, you have inside you the want to.  When you have the want to, everything else blurs into the background and you approach your life with the clarity that you never knew existed.

I hope you take these suggestions and spend some quiet time pondering the three questions.  Take some time no matter what your situation and know that if you’re at rock bottom, you will drive to the top quickly.  If you’re just going through the motions every day, take the steps mentioned and excel in the field of your choice. 

Taking the first step is always difficult, but find like-minded people and talk about the qualities of focus, determination, motivation and life purpose. I guarantee it will be an exhilarating conversation.

After being in business for so many years, it has always struck me how people would like to do certain things. They even appear to have a passion and love for the particular event or task. Unfortunately, sometimes having these things is not enough. We get into the “headgame” of knowing, for sure, that we would be great at something until it gets down to the “Want to”. Now, I’m not talking about a “need to” but rather the inner voice and action that drives you to absolutely “want to” accomplish this or that.

I have, for example, had people tell me that they would like to become a manager. I know exactly where they are going with this and I can see it in their eyes whether they have a “want to” or they “need to”. Why would someone need to be a manager. Easy, more money, power, flexibility, benefits, development, etc. So, why don’t these people have the “want to”? Simply put, it is because they lack the critical qualities of motivation, focus, determination, effort and, probably most important, it does not fit into their “life purpose”!

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Life’s Purpose – What Is Important to You?

Do you ever notice that life is cyclical?  It goes up and down and seems to do that all the time.  Wouldn’t it be nice if there could be some consistency in the way that our lives go?  The trouble with that idea is that with all the factors we are presented with in the course of living, it is very hard to control what we are faced with.  We encounter random events in our lives that shape who we are.  We know the path we are supposed to go down, but these events can sometimes derail those plans or veer us off into other paths. 

Consistency in life may be difficult, but we can, at least, find a path where we can make some ruts that will allow us to limit the “lows” and enjoy and maximize the “highs”.  So many books have been written about how all this can be done.  More importantly, the books have been written about how to find your life purpose.  In fact, that is what my business is all about.  How many people truly find their life purpose?  I would volunteer that most people are in the minority when it comes to this endeavor.  Still, finding life purpose is the key.  In other words, perhaps the definition of life purpose should be wrapped around the question: What is important to you?”

When we begin to answer this question, the whole concept of life purpose can begin to take shape.  I compare seeking a life purpose to setting goals.  In setting goals, very often we set them lofty and very general.  Therefore, the goals become grandiose, out of scale, and, truth be told, impossible to attain.  It is when you break these goals down into bite-size pieces they become very attainable, yet on the path to that grand goal, we find some happiness and some sense of accomplishment.  It is this sense of accomplishment that encourages us to continue our journey toward that goal.  If we look at life purpose as the grand goal, we can see where frustration might come in.  We can see where the diverging paths send us to places we never intended to be.  If we take that grand goal of life purpose and break it down into the simple concept of “what is important to us, we can then march toward our life purpose consistently, intentionally, and happily. 

The other benefit of looking at our life purpose as “what is important to us, that it allows us to find constant reinforcement.  This allows us to ponder “importance” with every interaction, every conversation, every event and every breath we take.  For example, stop what you are doing right now.  Think about this: In the next hour “what is important to you?”  Really think about it!  Is what you doing now going to allow you to achieve what you deem most important?   Of course, I would say it is because we are learning how to move toward our life purpose and to embrace what we intend to do through doing what is most important to us. 

This blog is the first in a series talking about what life purpose means and the role that understanding what is important to you has in developing that purpose.  I would refer you to the following websites:  

www.fergussongroup.org  

www.achieveyourlifepurpose.com 

These web sites will help you continue the search but, in the meantime, take some time, quiet time, to ponder and write down what is important to you.  It doesn’t matter how big or small the issue may be, it is a starting place. 


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Keeping a Broad Perspective

We all go through life, most of us with the best intentions, of what we want to do, who we want to be and where we want to go. Many times, we are offered different roads to take in order  to achieve those ends. What we determine those roads to be will give us the result that leads us to the next path.

As a child, we have a certain aspiration as to what we want our vocation to be, whether it be a fireman, a doctor, a lawyer, etc.. Children have these ideas in their minds and somewhere along the line they either become a reality or a different path is chosen, and that initial goal is never realized. Just think if everything we were able to dream were to come true. What would that look like and how would that manifest itself?

What so often happens is we lose our way. That is, we take paths that are not in line with what we intended to do. Sometimes we do this by choice and sometimes it is just a function of life events, so we need to be aware and open to all possibilities; hence, keeping a broad perspective. By doing so, we don’t let things slip by. We keep our eyes open to the dangers of a certain path or a decision that may not be in alignment with our intentions.

It is often said that it is a difficult road to try to find one’s life purpose, but that is because the road to finding one’s life purpose has so many paths that may be followed and the danger of taking one particular path and focusing on that path is that you lose perspective. You lose the ability to be open to all the possibilities. What is boils down to at times is, are we actually seeing what is before us? So often we go through life in a very superficial manner and we don’t see the truth, the value or the reality around us that is telling us what road we should be taking.

It is so important to dig deep and be a student of seeing the truth. When you do this, a whole array of possibilities springs up and your choices become much broader. If you have developed the art of seeing behind the screen, behind the shadows, those possibilities guide you into alignment with your purpose or your intention.

A favorite topic in business is “active listening.” This is nothing more than not being a superficial listener, but being present in the conversation and determining not only what is being said but who is saying it and what they mean. You have these separate components that come together – active listening and “deep seeing.” It is a combination that takes considerable practice. There are not many great listeners in the world nor are there many great “deep see-ers.” It is not a fault of anybody.  It is not how we were taught to see a person or to listen to a person, but when you do become present in the conversation your perspective broadens. Your possibilities become endless and you find a whole new world opening up to you.

“Look for the depth of a person’s intention.  It is only then you will                                                                     truly see.”                                                    

Craig Fergusson –January 5, 2018

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