Imagine a society where typical laws were replaced by laws of “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry”. In the new society, a person would have to use these in all appropriate situations. If you take the time during the day and truly pay attention to how often these words are used, it might shock you. If you look at the person who does receive this kind of attention, you see a glow that reflects the attention they just received.
If you were at the grocery store and someone helped you get a box off the shelf, would you say, “thank you”? If you needed that box, would you ask someone to “please” help you? If someone slipped on some water you spilled, would you say, “I’m sorry”?
There are so many situations during a day that these words can be used. It makes you wonder why they aren’t. Is it because people just don’t care or has society dismissed any civility? None of the words are hard to say and the impact that they can have on people is amazing.
The building block to society is communication. Having a peaceful society means you not only treat yourself well, but that you treat your neighbor well. These words have an effect of calming any discussion or interaction.
When you look someone in the eyes and genuinely say “thank you”, people feel appreciated, and a bond is created through eye contact. When you do the same with “please”, you show faith in your fellow man which generates respect. Lastly, when you genuinely say “I’m sorry” to someone, scars are healed, and relationships mended. Sometimes “I’m sorry” is not used because a person may think they will be perceived as weak. In truth, it shows a strength of communication that is vital.
A couple other laws that need to be enacted are “active listening” and “smiling”. Again, these actions shape the face of communication. If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone has a complaint, these two qualities are crucial. You resolve a complaint by allowing the person to discuss/explain their objection. During the dialogue, you’re smiling with intent to understand. Sometimes people just want to be heard and a grateful listener reduces the tension. What happens when they are finished? You say, “I’m sorry” and “thank you”! What a concept!
We have laws now concerning murder, domestic abuse, robbery, etc. These laws and their punishments are in place to try and decrease or eliminate the occurrences. We need to enact laws that encourage civil behavior such as someone not saying please, not using thank you, or not telling someone you’re sorry.
Imagine putting someone in jail for these offenses. It might look like this: “Sir, you are sentenced to a week in this grocery store to learn and demonstrate the norms of our society which include “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry”. The unit around your wrist will record every time one of these is used. Please learn from this experience and thank you for your attention.”
This “incarceration” should be a learning experience that should have been developed since childhood. Often, we are the product of our upbringing. How your parents and/or peer group handled civility very often is the model you follow. Be sure to be the model that genuinely enjoys interaction with others and delights in bringing a sincere smile to their face.
A civil society starts with civil communication. Imagine a society that is structured on respect and kindness.
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