Category: General

Strategies for Turning Your Midlife Crisis into Your Next Adventure

A midlife crisis can often feel like an insurmountable challenge, filled with self-doubt, regret, and a sense of stagnation. It’s a time when many people start to question their decisions and the direction their life has taken. However, it’s important to remember that this phase, while challenging, is also an opportunity for personal growth, self-discovery, and transformation. Instead of seeing it as a period of decline, it can be viewed as a chance to reassess your priorities, make necessary changes, and embark on new adventures.

Presented to you below by Attitude Reality, here are some strategies that can help you navigate through a midlife crisis and turn it into a fresh start.

Keep Your Habits Healthy

NutritionToFit.com notes that adopting healthier lifestyle habits can significantly enhance your physical and mental well-being. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep can boost your mood, increase energy levels, and reduce stress. These positive changes can provide the clarity and vitality needed to tackle the emotional challenges of a midlife crisis.

Determine the Source of Your Unhappiness

It’s crucial to identify the root causes of your unhappiness. This introspection might involve evaluating your relationships, career, and personal goals. Understanding what’s making you unhappy is the first step towards making meaningful changes in your life.

Try Your Hand at Gardening

Being in nature has been proven to be great for people’s emotional well-being, so see if you can cultivate more optimism while also cultivating plant life by trying out gardening. The best part is that you can take advantage of these benefits with an outdoor or an indoor garden, so you don’t need a lot of space.

Launch a Career with a Strategy and a Logo

If your current career is a source of dissatisfaction, consider the liberating prospect of starting your own business. Being your own boss can offer a sense of control and fulfillment. Remember, a successful business starts with a great idea, but it also helps to use a simple logo in your branding strategy. Such a logo can attract potential customers and set your business apart, serving as a beacon that distinguishes your brand in a bustling marketplace.

If you need to reboot your skill set, consider going back to school. For example, in terms of contributing to the field of education, obtaining an education degree equips individuals with a strong foundation in educational theory, teaching methodologies, and classroom management, fostering effective teaching skills and strategies. Fortunately, online degree programs make it easy to earn a degree while still working full-time or tending to family obligations. When looking for an online school, ensure it’s accredited and that it offers competitive tuition rates.

Refresh and Update Your Wardrobe

Updating your wardrobe can be a fun and therapeutic way to navigate a midlife crisis. New clothes can not only refresh your look but also boost your confidence. Experiment with different styles and colors. Fashion is a form of self-expression, and a fashionable update might just be the change you need.

Be More Adventurous

The Guest House points out that stepping out of your comfort zone and doing something adventurous can be invigorating. It could be traveling to a new country, learning a new sport, or even trying a new cuisine. These experiences can infuse excitement into your life and help you discover new interests and passions.

Try a New Space for a New Start

Where we live carries memories, both positive and negative. If your current home is clouding you with negative memories and thoughts, consider moving. If you’d rather not buy, there’s always the rental option. There are plenty of great places to rent where you can start fresh. When scouting homes, look for homes in neighborhoods with the amenities you need. View online listings to find properties in your price range with your desired number of bathrooms and bedrooms to locate the perfect place.

Embrace Laughter Whenever Possible

Laughter truly is the best medicine. It can reduce stress, improve mood, and even strengthen social bonds. Spend time with friends who make you laugh, watch a comedy show, or read a funny book. Finding ways to incorporate humor into your daily life can make the journey through midlife more enjoyable.

Read Books about Mid-life Crisis Management

Books about mid-life crisis management can offer valuable insights and practical advice. They can provide different perspectives on dealing with a midlife crisis and inspire strategies for personal growth. Some recommended reads include “Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life” by Gail Sheehy and “Navigating Midlife” by Robb N. Johnston.

Turn Your Crisis into an Opportunity

A midlife crisis, while challenging, can also be a period of profound personal growth and reinvention. By adopting healthier habits, understanding your unhappiness, pursuing new ventures, moving and finding a new home, and finding joy in everyday life, you can turn this crisis into an opportunity for a fresh start. So remember, this phase is not just about enduring but evolving, not just surviving but thriving. With the right perspective and strategies, your midlife years can truly become a time of renewed energy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Change The Mindset

Changing a mindset. It is not something to be taken lightly. It is something that we choose to do. And that’s the key. The key is we must choose to want to do something. I call it the “want to”. So often we talk to ourselves, and we say “well, I would like to do this, or I would like to do that”.  But true change comes in the form of a “want to”.

So, change can only happen with a change of mindset and how does a mindset happen? The mindset is something that is developed over time. That time can be short, or it can be long. In many cases, it is called a habit and developing habits can be very difficult.

At the beginning of each year, establish what we call resolutions. In other words, you say, “I am going to make a resolution to lose 30 pounds. But resolutions as we all know typically only lasts about three months at best so really the challenge is to make that resolution a lifelong habit.  If you do this then your mindset changes then the mindset changes your life. So really the challenge is to figure out how to develop triggers to get that mindset to change. Triggers don’t have to be hard. They are really connections to habits you already have. For example, if you brush your teeth every morning, that’s a habit. How about you attach it trigger to that so every time you brush your teeth you do something immediately afterwards?

Well, life is a combination triggers and habits. Developing and creating these are important to the development of how we want to live our lives. Sometimes we have created habits that damage our body and soul and sometimes getting rid of these damaged habits can be very difficult to do. But that’s what must be done and so really, it’s a matter of flipping the switch and creating a new mindset that counters the habit that has been created.

What is a bad habit? Drinking too much can be a habit that we have. Certainly, many times we drink because we just enjoy it. We also drink because we’re in a social situation and everybody else is partaking and/or we have peer pressure. But whatever the reason, if you have the “want to” to reduce or stop drinking then you must create triggers and habits that supports this action. In other words, one of the actions that need is to stay out of situations where this occurs. The second thing is having a plan so when the feeling for a drink comes up, we have a trigger that discourages that action. Again, remember the mindset is what it’s going to determine the course of this habit development or not. Remember, we are trying to eliminate a habit that has already been developed. So, before the next time you are thinking about having a drink, have a trigger to utilize. The trigger might be every time you reach for or begin to order that alcoholic beverage, make it water or make it anything other than an alcoholic beverage and the trigger is the reaching for or the process of ordering. If you become resolute about this action, every time you think about it, you are on the way to solidifying a new habit.

The key is being resolute, and the second key is having the “want to”. You won’t be scared or feeble about the attempt if you are resolute! This means you are firm in your conviction. If you are firm your conviction, you are going to do this and whatever your bad habit is, you will have the trigger that will change the bad habit to a good habit.  Just figure out a trigger much like we did earlier. This new trigger will become the answer to your “want to” and the start of the development of your new good positive habits. Let me know in the comments how this goes for you because the bottom line is we don’t want three-month resolutions we want a whole new life habit.  

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Resource:  Resource:  Breaking-the-Habit

Imagine a Society

Imagine a society where typical laws were replaced by laws of “please”, “thank you” and “I’m sorry”. In the new society, a person would have to use these in all appropriate situations.  If you take the time during the day and truly pay attention to how often these words are used, it might shock you.  If you look at the person who does receive this kind of attention, you see a glow that reflects the attention they just received.

If you were at the grocery store and someone helped you get a box off the shelf, would you say, “thank you”? If you needed that box, would you ask someone to “please” help you? If someone slipped on some water you spilled, would you say, “I’m sorry”?

There are so many situations during a day that these words can be used. It makes you wonder why they aren’t. Is it because people just don’t care or has society dismissed any civility? None of the words are hard to say and the impact that they can have on people is amazing.

The building block to society is communication. Having a peaceful society means you not only treat yourself well, but that you treat your neighbor well. These words have an effect of calming any discussion or interaction.

When you look someone in the eyes and genuinely say “thank you”, people feel appreciated, and a bond is created through eye contact. When you do the same with “please”, you show faith in your fellow man which generates respect. Lastly, when you genuinely say “I’m sorry” to someone, scars are healed, and relationships mended. Sometimes “I’m sorry” is not used because a person may think they will be perceived as weak. In truth, it shows a strength of communication that is vital.

A couple other laws that need to be enacted are “active listening” and “smiling”. Again, these actions shape the face of communication. If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone has a complaint, these two qualities are crucial. You resolve a complaint by allowing the person to discuss/explain their objection. During the dialogue, you’re smiling with intent to understand. Sometimes people just want to be heard and a grateful listener reduces the tension. What happens when they are finished? You say, “I’m sorry” and “thank you”! What a concept!

We have laws now concerning murder, domestic abuse, robbery, etc. These laws and their punishments are in place to try and decrease or eliminate the occurrences. We need to enact laws that encourage civil behavior such as someone not saying please, not using thank you, or not telling someone you’re sorry.

Imagine putting someone in jail for these offenses. It might look like this: “Sir, you are sentenced to a week in this grocery store to learn and demonstrate the norms of our society which include “please”, “thank you”, and “I’m sorry”. The unit around your wrist will record every time one of these is used. Please learn from this experience and thank you for your attention.”

This “incarceration” should be a learning experience that should have been developed since childhood.  Often, we are the product of our upbringing.  How your parents and/or peer group handled civility very often is the model you follow.  Be sure to be the model that genuinely enjoys interaction with others and delights in bringing a sincere smile to their face.

A civil society starts with civil communication. Imagine a society that is structured on respect and kindness.

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Imagine a World….

I am so excited to discuss a new series I will be doing that will address many of the thoughts people have about issues that seem to trigger emotions in us or make us stop and ponder the reality of things.

It is an interesting time both nationally and internationally and how we get through this really depends upon us. We all have beliefs and attitudes that dictate who we are. How we share those beliefs and attitudes can also determine how we are perceived by others.

The values we hold dear personally are the ones that usually come through in good times and bad. Sometimes when our values are fragile, we move outside of ourselves and become someone we do not recognize. It is times like this that we need to hold strong to what we believe and, if we are not sure what we believe, we work to learn and better understand what we want and need. We also need to learn to discern what others want and need and how we can help them in that journey.

The title of this new series is “Imagine A World.” You can see that the keyword here, Imagine, means we are using our value system, our beliefs, and attitudes to weave into our imagination. That imagination in the world would make certain strengths universal and be good for all mankind.

Have you ever thought about a world without hate? How about a world where the main priority was looking out for your neighbor? In this politically charged environment, what would happen if people found common ground, if people listened to understand rather than talk to accuse or challenge? Is the world a place where loving someone is considered weak? Is it a place where being concerned for someone is a weakness?

This is a portion of the topics or questions that the new series will address. This series will be posted on YouTube and I will be anxious to see the comments that are generated from ideas that some may consider controversial and others perhaps just nod in agreement. I fully expect to get both sides and to read and listen to the rationale of each.

This series idea was generated from various events in conversations that have been ongoing. Being a Life Coach and a Christian, I walk an interesting line with people who may have different views and values than I do. One of the missing links is that we have not taken the time to reflect on the opinions of others or to take a step back and to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. So often we take our opinion and one way or another impose it on others without knowing their circumstances, needs, or desires.

My hope is that this series triggers some thought individually and between other people and that the conversation generated from it becomes a powerful tool for positive action.

The series will be located on YouTube at:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOTYakAJR0aMRmoIE9Bygyg?view_as=subscriber

There will be a new segment every week. Please take time to comment and add your thoughts. This forum can be a valuable tool in strengthening personal experiences, relationships, and the building of a caring society.

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Reality in Life

We all struggle with the idea of who we are, where we’re going and why we are here. It is important to understand that the reality of our life is what we make it.  Is it what will happen to us or is it the realization that we can determine where we’re going to go?  Of course, detours may happen along the way, but it is the self-determination that we focus on that guides us to our ultimate purpose.

We can talk about our system of belief, our philosophy of the purpose of life, our origins, our experiences, our upbringing or any of the other factors that may have determined who we are and where we’re going. These are all valid but, in the end, it is our environment today that determines our current reality infused with our attitude, positive or negative, that establishes who we are today and sets the stage for who we will be tomorrow.

If you look at yourself, are you someone who is progressing toward a destination that is satisfying?  Or, do you see yourself not making any progress in your life or slipping backwards? What is it about your reality that needs to change? What is it about your attitude that needs to change?  If you believe in self-determination, you need to figure out what the next step is going to be. If you don’t, you will wait and react to the next thing that happens to you. Is that really what you want to do, wait for something to happen to you?

No matter what your belief system is today, it can be different tomorrow. If you say, “I am so down in the ditch, there is no way my life can be different tomorrow,” you are not understanding how elevating your life can be when measured in the smallest of factors. What is important is the smallest bit of progress, measured by you, not the immediate complete change.  The transition can be instant or barely noticeable.  It is only you who fixates on the outcome.

What is important is change you are creating in your mind; you need to believe that the change is worthwhile and fixate on that notion. To transcend, you need to change your mind.  You need to change your mindset and change your attitude.  No one can do this for you.  Stepping up to face a life change means flipping the switch.  I say this from experience – smoking. For seventeen years I didn’t know what it took to stop. I tried hundreds of times.  Finally it got to the point where I had to flip the switch in my mind! Emphatically determine that I was going to quit smoking. I was not going to fall for the gratification that smoking gave me.  I was going to enjoy other gratifications that came along with not smoking.  All this was a mental process – not a time absorbing process, just an acceptance in the absolute belief that I no longer had to do this activity. It was just a decision that was made that finally clicked in my mind. The decision clicked and my mind’s switch was flipped, and I no longer had the urge to smoke.

All this may seem very easy, but it’s not.  I understand that. My point here is that your reality in life is what you make it. You need to get rid of the negative perceptions of your past and decide on the realities of your future. Let me say that one more time – get rid of the perceptions of your past and dwell on the realities of your future.

Please understand I’m here to help you.  I have an incredible will to help others flip the switch. Email me or call me anytime to help you get to where you want to be.

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Learning to Speak

It is hard to speak to people when you have grown up introverted and the thought of carrying on a conversation is not pleasant. It is important to keep to oneself so this doesn’t happen. Besides, there is nothing wrong with being in my own company. These thoughts are what used to go through my mind as a youngster and still do, at times.

My family was very supportive and open throughout my younger years. The home was a secure and happy place. I don’t know what caused me to be introverted. My brother and sister didn’t seem to have the same affliction.  Sports was my activity of choice if I had to be out among people.

As I grew into my mid- to late teens, being introverted became more and more an issue. I’m not sure when but when I came to the realization that I had to come out of this in order to be “normal” and successful. This process was vital and I had to take steps to improve the situation.

The first thing I did was realize I had to change my perception of conversations up to this point, thoughts such as I don’t have anything to say, what I might say is not important, what if the person thinks it is stupid, I don’t want to do this. My self-talk around these thoughts had to change.

I had to learn that a conversation is between two or more people.  The other person consciously or unconsciously is having the same thoughts as I am. Their behaviors, like mine, will be dictated by the responses they receive.  For example, if I said the sky was blue and the other person thought it was red, doubt creeps in for them.  Understanding that the other person was going through the same emotions boosted my self-confidence.

The next thing was to realize that the interaction is just a conversation.  It is not an earth-shattering event or a world changing moment.  I did not need to make so much of it and just express myself and move on.

Next, I decided to prepare for conversations by being someone else.  This may seem a bit weird, but it worked. As I began or entered a conversation, I became someone whom I knew loved to talk, I kept this persona into the introduction and start of the conversation then reverted to myself.  I wonder if the other person ever noticed the change of energy.

Another change was to learn to enjoy the conversation.  Instead of dreading it, I was determined to try to learn something from each one.  This caused me to listen better and to look forward to speaking to someone.

From a career perspective I knew I had to be able to speak. I never took any communication classes or public speaking in school but knew I had to change my behavior. I decided early in business to become an entry level trainer.  This forced me to speak to people one-on-one and in groups. The key was that I knew the subject matter and they didn’t! This one concept served me well in my public speaking career.

In summary, all the points mentioned allowed me to break free of being an introvert.  It is still buried deep down but has had its time.  Learning to speak is all about self-confidence and knowing the environment around each conversation or presentation.  That environment can be controlled by you to enable yourself to be confident and enjoy the moment.  I can now totally choose which conversations to participate in rather than avoid all of them at any cost.  Go forth and speak boldly!! 😊

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What’s New with Attitude Reality and the Fergusson Group?

As we approach the end of 2019, it is time to let everyone know what is going on with our unique company.  It has been a great year full of new experiences and wonderful challenges.  We are now nestled in the beautiful southwest, Mesa, AZ. 

  • We are in the process of developing an informative five eBook series called Creative Purpose.  This series will concentrate on helping people to discover the terrific opportunities available when determining their place in the world and their own purpose.  With so much chaos and confusion around us, knowing who you are has never been so important.
  • Our Life Coaching aspect continues to gain traction and we are so excited about the direction in which this is headed.  The focus is helping people “find their way”.  In an ever-chaotic world, more people, from young to old, are struggling to find their purpose and a direction for their life.  One statistic that stands out is that searches for Life Purpose has doubled over the last five years!
  • In the works, due out in mid-2020, is our book, “When Angels Collide.”  This book will be a unique take on the mystery of the end times with a surprise ending. 
  • The Attitude Reality blog will continue to produce helpful articles for you to help in your journey toward purpose and life in general.  We will be expanding by referring to other similar blogs to help you get all the resources you might need.  Please sign up for the newsletter in the top of the column to the right.
  • FergMart.com is our other shop that has more items plus a unique selection of eBooks. 
  • The Fergusson Group is continuing to offer training and classes for individuals and organizations.  We pride ourselves on the unique presentation style that gets everyone involved.  The key is to view the topic from a unique standpoint.  Visit Fergussongroup.org to see more.

We are excited about all the activities going on and would love to hear from you with suggestions, comments, guest articles or references to other sites.  Also, and most importantly, if you know someone who might need assistance, please refer them to our services.  Payment is never an issue when someone is in need.

Our contact information is:         

6329 East Des Moines Street, Mesa, AZ 85205

(425) 377-3303 or (425) 358-6163

Ask for Craig                      

Determine That You Have the Want To!

After being in business for so many years, it has always struck me how people would like to do certain things. They even appear to have a passion and love for the event or task. Unfortunately, sometimes having these things is not enough. We get into the “head game” of knowing, for sure, that we would be great at something until it gets down to the want to.  I’m not talking about a “need to” but rather the inner voice and action that drives you to absolutely want to accomplish this or that.

I have, for example, had people tell me that they would like to become a manager. I know exactly where they are going with this and I can see it in their eyes whether they have a want to or they “need to.” Why would someone need to be a manager? Easy, more money, power, flexibility, benefits, development, etc. So, why don’t these people have the want to? Simply put, it is because they lack the critical qualities of motivation, focus, determination, effort and, probably most importantly, it does not fit into their “life purpose.”

Motivation, focus, determination and effort are all very recognizable terms in respect to the building blocks of success.  The last point, life purpose, is probably a bit head scratching for some people but is the most important of all these descriptors.  Why do we do the things we do and what keeps us going to accomplish everything that needs to be done?  As in many activities, there needs to be a foundation.  To determine if you will excel in an activity, you have to see how it fits into your life purpose.  If it doesn’t fit, there is very little likelihood, even with all the other factors in play, that success will be achieved.

Again, life purpose is the foundation of what we do.  Unfortunately, most people do not know, nor are they seeking, their purpose.  At this point, we need to find our life purpose and determine what we will do with the rest of our life. Or, do we first determine what is important in our life and then determine from there where we want to take our purpose.  For example, when I was growing up, I wanted to be a doctor.  I knew this was going to be my life purpose, but I lacked the focus and determination to achieve that result.  Aspects of being a doctor captured me and helped me to this day in my pursuit of my life passion.  In other words, I couldn’t be a medical doctor, but I deeply care about coaching and counseling people toward success in their own life.  This was the aspect that I saw in my father, who was a doctor, and now I have followed in those footsteps.

When you start thinking about your life purpose, think about:

  1. What is important to you?
  2. What you dreamt about growing up?
  3. Where you are now? 

These three questions are the starting points of determining life purpose.  Remember, although right now you may not see what your life purpose may be, you are living it. 

Once you have a foundation (life purpose) and you wake up with the drive, motivation, focus and determination, nothing can stop you.  Once you have these qualities, you have inside you the want to.  When you have the want to, everything else blurs into the background and you approach your life with the clarity that you never knew existed.

I hope you take these suggestions and spend some quiet time pondering the three questions.  Take some time no matter what your situation and know that if you’re at rock bottom, you will drive to the top quickly.  If you’re just going through the motions every day, take the steps mentioned and excel in the field of your choice. 

Taking the first step is always difficult, but find like-minded people and talk about the qualities of focus, determination, motivation and life purpose. I guarantee it will be an exhilarating conversation.

After being in business for so many years, it has always struck me how people would like to do certain things. They even appear to have a passion and love for the particular event or task. Unfortunately, sometimes having these things is not enough. We get into the “headgame” of knowing, for sure, that we would be great at something until it gets down to the “Want to”. Now, I’m not talking about a “need to” but rather the inner voice and action that drives you to absolutely “want to” accomplish this or that.

I have, for example, had people tell me that they would like to become a manager. I know exactly where they are going with this and I can see it in their eyes whether they have a “want to” or they “need to”. Why would someone need to be a manager. Easy, more money, power, flexibility, benefits, development, etc. So, why don’t these people have the “want to”? Simply put, it is because they lack the critical qualities of motivation, focus, determination, effort and, probably most important, it does not fit into their “life purpose”!

Please subscribe to learn more in the column to the right! I look forward to your comments on our blogs.

Your World Is What You Think It Is

We all go about our daily lives not really paying attention to the activities of others around us.  Life seems to move forward no matter how we try to speed it up or slow it down.  Our attitude tends to put everything in perspective for us and we don’t think twice about what that attitude is. 

We wake up in a good mood, bad mood, or just figure it is another day.  We don’t reflect on the best way to start today, although, if we did, it would set a positive tone for the remainder of the day. 

How do you see the world?  Is it through your eyes or through someone else’s?  So often we let others dictate how we feel, what we believe, or determine who we are.  When we are children, this is natural as we don’t know any better, but, as we grow older, our world view should be our own.  Remember the term “peer pressure.”  This refers to our behavior and decisions determined by those around us.  Most of the time, this begins in school and can last a lifetime.   

The end of a dream can come from words or an attitude of someone else.  The dream itself was formulated inside each one of us.  We can hold on to that dream by knowing we all have the potential to realize it no matter what. 

So often I run into people with no self-esteem and I wonder how this happened.  Who said or did something previously to drive them down?  If you watch people every day, you see those who can’t make eye contact, who think that their low position job is the best they will ever be, who feel like they have nothing to contribute.  All this is a result of external pressures that we have internalized to be true.  It is easy to tell people they have more value than they realize but it means nothing until they internalize that message. 

How do you create your own special world?   

First, what happened in the past is gone.  Let it go.   

Determine to find a positive in every aspect of your life.   

Live in the here and now.   

Be present and focus on every interaction throughout the day.   

Reflect on every conversation.  Look for the hidden gems.   

Be excited for the future but don’t dwell on it.  Plan simply.   

Don’t try to do too much. 

Creating your world is like producing a movie.  You are the star.  The script that you go by is one that you have written yourself.  Like any good script, it takes time and effort.  Also, the benefit of your personal script is that it can be adjusted as you go.  You decide when you want to “ad lib” and make other changes.  All movies have a supporting cast.  Since you are the casting director, you determine who is going to support you and what role they will play. 

The message is that you have control over what your life will be like.  You may be affected by other people, but it is YOUR choice whether you accept it or not.  Be the one in charge and determine what your life plan will be and then carry it out utilizing the tips above.  Doing so will generate the happy and fulfilling life that you are seeking. 


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The Hidden Needs of Others

There is a YouTube video, link attached, that illustrates the true ability of a person to see behind the obvious. It is a video that is very strong and very powerful in communicating what goes on behind our perceptions. It is also a video that talks about ourselves and how we are motivated or defined by our attitude and how our attitude can be worked up in such a manner that we fail to see things as they really are.  

We have this in our lives everyday where we allow external factors to affect the way we are perceiving things or allow our attitudes to be affected. For example, you are in a management position and you work with customers. On most days, the customers’ energy is what brings you satisfaction and happiness in your position because most people enjoy shopping and making purchases, but occasionally you have that customer who is negative, complaining and it seems you simply can’t do anything to please this person. The longer this negative interaction continues, the more your attitude is soured for that hour or day. Therefore, for the remainder of that period, your perceptions of what you see and hear are tainted, all because of that one negative customer. Some people can allow that to roll off their shoulders and are able to maintain their positive attitude, but negative people drain us of our positive energy.  

Spending our day interacting with people can affect how we continue to communicate with others and how we treat them, and, I would say, how we are treated in return, because what we give is what we receive. It takes practice to train ourselves to be consistent in our actions and to be willing to understand the treatment we are receiving from others. We need to look in the mirror and see our reflection. It only requires taking a five second pause from what we’re doing, standing back and asking, “what’s going on, where are you right now, and where do you want to be?” This is something we normally don’t do but should.  The reflection we see is our attitude going to work on our perceptions.  Sometimes we are worked up to the point of being close to pulling an emotional “trigger”.  Emotional triggers come in many different situations – a teacher demeaning a student’s homework, an athlete who hears boos from the crowd. What does that do to his or her performance going forward? These determine how we communicate and how our attitude can change because of external factors.  

The reason we are talking about this today is because of our perceptions of others and whether we are actually seeing them or not and understanding what is going on behind the action. The video I mentioned really brings this to light, as it shows a man going through a typical day. It also shows how perceptions work him up toward his response level. He is looking at people through a certain filter and not seeing the entire picture. It is paramount for us as we go through each day, to understand where the other person is coming from. Unless we do not want to deal with people at all, it is always going to be something that we need to look at. Some people are very good at it and some are not. I know many people, who, when I enter a conversation with them, it is a very one-sided conversation. People love to talk about themselves and talk about themselves constantly. When they are doing that, obviously there are some thoughts and perceptions that are going on with the person they are talking to. For example, a thought might be I wonder if they’re ever going to ask about me? I wonder if they are even concerned about anything I am going through? I wonder how this person can be so egotistical? Each one of those thoughts or feelings creates a perception of the speaker, but if you turn it around and look at that person and wonder why they are talking so much and why are they so self-involved, there are probably multiple answers. We may never know where that person is coming from.  

The video below reflects what one person sees and what happens when he does not take into consideration other people’s needs.  When we all look at ourselves in the mirror and take the time to understand others, it means better communication for both sides and probably more understanding about the needs of other people.  

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